Learning To Trust My Wings... But Enjoying The Fall

"A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because her trust is not on the branch but on its own wings."

 

I started yoga 3 months ago overcautious, afraid, unwilling to test any physical boundary, and had absolutely no balance (in every sense of the word). I didn't trust my own wings, if you will. I was afraid of getting hurt and afraid of looking stupid.

 

I've already tried more things in yoga than I ever anticipated, and I've barely begun. But the most important thing I've done is fall. Falling has made me braver (and if you knew how much I've fallen you'd think I'm fearless by now). It's made me realize that hitting my face on the ground in crow or teetering over in half moon is okay. Every time I fall it's a “huh.. that wasn’t so bad!” moment, and it fuels me to get back up and keep trying until I don't fall. I've stopped seeing falling as a failure and started seeing it as a fuel to the fire. A challenge.

 

I find myself trying more advanced modifications of poses, knowing full well I might come crashing down, and I’m totally okay with it. When I inevitably topple over on a new pose (probably because it’s a one legged pose), I crack a smile and get back up and keep trying. It’s extremely liberating to be able to feel this way. Not only being less afraid to hurt myself, but also not afraid to fail.

 

Part of me knew this would happen- it was the idea, after all. Yoga has taught me to embrace the difficulties, the discomfort, and the awkwardness. It’s allowed me to let go of the fear that someone is judging my practice or how much I wobble. Which has, in turn, allowed me to wobble less. So here’s to the falls that lead us to strength.