Try A Little Tenderness

We all have struggles that we wrap ourselves up in. Every person you see is fighting their own battle. Our own personal battles envelope us and make us forget those around us have problems too. We jump to conclusions, assume people are ignorant, dumb, rude, or just out to ruin our day simply because they don't know what our battle is that day.

They accidentally cut you off, are going too slow for your liking, take too long at the drive through window, or accidentally bump into you in the store. Many of us have a gut reaction to be angry about all of these things.  Why aren't they hurrying, I'm going to be late. How did they not see me? Why aren't they paying better attention to where I am? We're so quick to damn these people and we don't even know what things they could be struggling with.

I've been thinking about this a lot recently. About compassion. empathy. tenderness. Why are these things sometimes so hard to project? Even today- as I was thinking about some of my talking points for this post, a string of bad news and tragedy came my way. I was instantly set back. Began yelling at people on the road, getting angry that these other cars weren't being sensitive to my anger and sadness and stress that there's no way that they could have any idea about. Any compassion I had for anyone else was no where to be found.

I wish compassion and tenderness came easier. I wish it was my gut reaction rather than getting angry or cutting down someone I don't even know. I've been working on this for awhile. Noticing how irrational I'm being for yelling at a complete stranger for something they didn't do on purpose on the road. I'll catch myself and remind myself that they could be having a hard day too. That we all make mistakes and I just happened to witness this particular one.

It's become cool to be disingenuous or detached. It's weird to be compassionate or understanding. Judging those around us has become second nature. Why isn't it our first reaction to practice empathy? We've all heard about empathy since our early years. I remember learning about it in grade school and my teacher defining it as putting yourself in someone else's shoes. Why is it that this concept seems to have fallen to the wayside as just another vocabulary word?

I want to take on practicing compassion and empathy much like I've taken on practicing yoga. It's new, it's hard, and it takes dedication. I hope that if you relate to any of this, that you will try too. Maybe, little by little, we can make a more patient and understanding world. A world that loves instead of judges. It's so easy to be negative. It's a challenge to change your thinking. To admit your mistake and recognize when your judging too harshly. But it's a challenge worth taking.


With Love

Kim